In the
physics and math library of a university I don’t attend,
waiting in
the quiet, pretending, I fit in here too.
We thought I
should get out, get some air
look for
work from in here
or someplace
similar.
And there
are long lengths of books that smell as books should
but say
something new and not fiction.
I’d get lost
inside tangents and cotangents
Greek
symbols meaning actions, meaning
do something.
Analytic
geometry and calculus.
I have that
book on my shelf.
on my desk
next to html and German and French
and other
things I should learn but haven’t yet.
Inside are
problem sets and explanations.
And in the
margins, on occasion,
a small
pencil mark, a circle round a question,
A scrap of
paper with a calculation.
These are
yours and Mom’s too, according to the two names
scrawled on
the inside cover.
You were
good at this
space in
which I’m an imposter.
Where I sit
hands open to equations with proofs.
And what do
I do?
The proof of
life after death is an equation about energy,
where life
is energy and death
And the
symbols are actions unknown yet.
You were
good at this too.
